Mary Birdsong

December24th

My sisters and I were all excited about watching a dvd of the 1970s Christmas special Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey with her kids and wondering why it is rarely, IF EVER, broadcast on television. Well now? We’re pretty sure we know WHY.Wow. As soon as that nose appeared on screen, there was a If any of you are lucky enough to own a DVD copy, go to “scene selections” and click on scene #7— where the Virgin Mary & Joseph attempt to buy Nestor from a Middle-Eastern merchant. Then zoom in on that merchant’s nose. Wow. As soon as that nose appeared on screen, there was a pregnant pause, and then my little sister Veronica and I looked at each other and burst into gut-busting laughter. Soon the entire family, including kids of every age, were rewinding, zooming, freeze-framing, and watching the scene frame by frame until we got a good enough frame to take a photo of. Whoever is responsible for designing that particular puppet, we applaud you. You gave this family one of the most memorable Christmas experiences ever. Totally age-inappropriate, but we couldn’t help it. We all marveled at it, and gave thanks. We realized that the advances of HD tv and huge flat-screens that had come along since our youth, were suddenly making visible to our grown-up eyes what we couldn’t see in our youth— a huge penis and testicles playing a crucial role in the Nativity. Other fun details we were now able to notice were the wires that controlled the puppets (fully visible) and the fact that the little hands of all the puppets were, for some reason, FILTHY! Merry Christmas, Nestor. And thank you.

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