Mary Birdsong

May10th


Mothers, like the one featured above, participated in a 10 year, double-blind scientific study targeting adult sons & daughters suffering from inordinate amounts of familial guilt. While it is common knowledge that too much alcohol can cause a physical hangover, scientists recently uncovered data that suggests many Americans suffer from “guilt hangovers” (GHO) as well.

They can occur at any time, and were long thought to strike adult sons and daughters with seemingly no provocation or overindulgence whatsoever. This belief has now been thoroughly debunked. Evidence has just been revealed which indicates that GHO germinates at a much higher rate during certain “high pressure,” stress-inducing holidays (such as Mother’s Day), when normal adult emotional boundaries are weakened, not unlike the immune system. While a cure has not yet been found, scientists urge those who suffer from GHO to ingest copious amounts of alcohol and recreational drugs to stop the rapid spread of guilt that lingers post-family visits or phone calls.  While the alcohol and drugs CAN cause traditional hangovers, they are much less painful and damaging overall to the system.  The attached video which was used as evidence in the intensive, double-blind, 10 year long study, was funded by FTD® florists, Hallmark® greeting cards, and Pfizer®.

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