In Daniel We Trust, or…
E Pluribus You Win!
Oscars Predictions — Oscars Ballot 2013 — Vulture.
Let’s make the Oscars exciting this year. How? Easy. Here’s how…
I double-dog-dare Bradley Cooper, Joaquin Phoenix, Denzel Washington orrrrr Hugh Jackman to show up on the red carpet dressed as John Wilkes Booth and just sort of follow close behind Daniel Day Lewis, and occasionally stare long and hard at him while Entertainment Tonight makes scintillatingly predictable chit chat with Danny Boy. Lines like:
ET: “I see you shaved your beard for us tonight, Daniel.”
DDL: “Uh, yes, yes I…. sh– Heh heh… Excuse me a moment.”
Then he just hauls ass as Joaquin runs after him in a crazy, pre-industrial revolution chase scene! Think of it!
If that doesn’t happen, I’ll settle for Daniel
Day Lewis showing up in a tuxedo made
entirely out of five dollar bills. And a copper bow
tie made of pennies! If Lady GaGa had played
Lincoln that’s what SHE would do.