Mary Birdsong


Workin' for peanuts and lovin' it.A lot of folks think that  because you do a movie WITH George Clooney, you must make Clooney-size PAYCHECKS on that movie.

Oh, reader.  Dear, sweet, deluded reader…

Do you have, likeb

If that were true, I wouldn’t be slaving away at this keyboard right now typing this scintillating blog post for you, now, wood eye?  If I made that kind of money I could afford to have my blogs updated by someone else!  It’d probably be someone I’d pluck from  a Home Depot pickup truck chorus line.  Probably a  Mexican dude (and ideally a GAY mexican dude, which… I don’t know if they even EXIST) but my point is…

… there’s a HUGE grey area of  income between the

Clooneys of the world and the Birdsongs.  Therein lies my cut.

Let’s just say if you and I go out to dinner, we’re goin’ dutch.

Still, it ain’t exactly peanuts either.  And for that I am eternally grateful.  But when my little sister recently uncovered a Birdsong family business that we were totally unaware of, it’s led to some confusion:


Founded in 1911, with plants in Georgia, Texas, and Virginia, I’m sure they’re shelling is exquisitely done, and their peanuts quite delicious, but I do not work for them.  I suppose it’s possible we’re cousins, so I’ll definitely check that out on just in case there’s any sweet-ass inheritance money up for grabs later from my “peanut empire” kin folk.   But, no.  No, I do not work for Birdsong Peanuts®, or any OTHER peanuts.

Now, if we’re talkin’ peanut BUTTER, that’s an entirely  different matter.  Call my agent, and let’s talk.

Birdsong Corporation Employee Website.

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