Mary Birdsong


Halloween Bargain Wig Shopping Tip #22a: Going as Jennifer Aniston?  Awesome. If you actually ARE Jennifer Aniston, & have lots of dough to spend, you can get a custom-made, lace-front wig online for a mere $260, like the “Zara”

Orrrr u can be creatively thrifty in your wig shopping technique.  I found a good alternative in the little girl’s section at a Ricky’s phamacy. Though the grown-up wigs at Ricky’s were still a MUCH cheaper option than the fancy lace-front wigs, they were still on the pricey side (especially for something that is not returnable or exchangeable, & will probably be vomited on at some point).  They went for $40-$50.  But then my eyes wandered to the kids’ section.  I mean… how much smaller can a kid’s head BE, right?  Not much.  But the PRICES of the kids’ wig WERE much smaller.  I chose the “Yasmin” wig from Bratz’ “Girls Rock!” line. At just $14.95, it wasn’t super high-quality, but it was actually much closer in look to Aniston’s ever-changing “do.”  I don’t even know if I will wind up going as Jennifer on Halloween.

Maybe I’ll get REALLY ambitious and go as Justifer.  Or Jeneroux.  I don’t know if the duo has trademarked their coupledom yet.  But who knows?  With a little trimming & styling, even Theroux might mistake me for his lady & accidentally kiss me on Halloween. Maybe? Like… if he’s reeeeeeally really drunk?  No? Not even then?

Well then I’m gonna just do a repeat of last year’s high concept costume: an exhibitionist Afghani Muslim stripper forced to cover herself by Al Queda. It’s super easy- all you need is a bikini, a clear shower curtain liner, and lots of emotional scars from constant oppression.  Check, check, annnnnd check!

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