I’ve been trying to dress up more lately, so I had my fancy new high heels on while walking up the path to my front door. The world seemed full of promise. Then I heard a sound that can only be described as a squirunch– a combination crunch/squish. I’d just murdered a snail. I hate snails. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
It’s not like it had DONE anything to me to deserve it. It was just minding it’s own snail-y business, slithering along being as gross as it could be.
And I’d flattened it– cracked shell, gooey snail guts on concrete. I comforted myself by wondering if it could be more than simply… gross. Maybe it was good luck! What is the meaning in this omen? Where is a reputable, fully vetted shaman when you need one???? I felt a little like I imagine Dorothy Gale must’ve felt right after she accidentally melted the wicked witch.
I didn’t MEAN to do it. It just happened. I felt bad… but also powerful. Anyway, everyone knows wicked witches are ugly. And so are snails.