Okay… brace yourselves. I RETURNED MY iPAD.
(Cue the firing squad, Anderson Cooper, Dr. Drew, and the nearest nut-house.) Yup. I returned it. Don’t want it. Don’t need it. Don’t love it.
It wasn’t broken. It was just…. not my thing.
There. I said it. And as scared as I am to cop to this in a public forum, I feel better already. This blog post is my online confession, and I’m prepared to say as many “Hail Marys” as I need to for absolution. I’m an ardent Mac enthusiast and a loyal, repeat customer, so it felt downright un-American to tell the nice young man in the blue shirt and hipster glasses that I didn’t want it. I may as well have said “I want to return this iPad….. and I voted for McCain in 2008. Oh, and here’s this Somali baby, too. Want him?” Images began to form of the local townsfolk chasing me down cobblestone streets holding torches (or maybe iPhones with torch APPS) high in the air, shouting:
“Get her! She dares insult the memory of our master?!!
Clearly she’s an iWITCH!“
Don’t get me wrong. The iPad was super-neato. But w/a Macbook Air ANNNND an iPhone already in my possession, the pad just seemed redundant. And before you stone me to death, just know that I bought my mom an iPad as well. For her birthday. And she isn’t going to return THAT one. It seems to be her salvation. She loves it! And she’s already started to use it on her own with some success.
Wait a minute… Could that be the REAL reason I returned mine? I did buy both iPads at the same time– a black one for her and a white one for me; like a his and hers set, but for mom and daughter. So maybe on some subconscious level, I couldn’t stomach the idea of my mom and me using the same exact computer. After all, I’ve spent the last 30 years trying to be as DIFFERENT from my dear sweet Mom as possible (no offense, Mommy, if you have mastered the internet enough to actually read this post, but I think most women have a secret fear of turning into their mothers, even if their mom is Jackie O., or Indira Ghandi). Was this return of the iPad some desperate attempt to distance myself from her once again? Or did I just wanna spend the $500 on some cute clothes, or some food for that Somalian kid?