Mary Birdsong


many fans have asked why i’m not @ comic-con. (ok, they didn’t really, but let’s just say they did).  well, fans- they carded me. so i’m @ “calm-a-con” instead. i sing lullabyes 2 soothe violent inmates.

i tried to get in, and the guy @ the door was all like “oh my god, it’s mary birdsong! u were in halloween 2! u were in reno 911! wow!” but then he carded me. i found out the hard way that if you’re a female, when u turn 40 they don’t let you in to comic-con anymore. they ship u off to “calm-a-con” instead.

and ya know what? i like it here. i sing lullabyes 2 soothe violent inmates. i play the harp to calm the twisted minds of serial killers. (they’re so misunderstood. what a great bunch!) my most popular tune is “ain’t gonna rape no mo, no mo. ain’t-a-gonna rape no mo.” i’m DOING good, so i FEEL good, too! and #432JC65 has his eye on me. I can tell. and guess who’s up for parole soon!!!! tee hee hee.

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